Ever since Emily was small, her perception of pain has been "off". She Can be extremely stoic, and did not communicate her pain(s) well to me or anyone else. This is another example of a fundamental developmental difference that she has from a typically developing child. I had to "teach" her how to take inventory of her own pain, and how to categorize it and then convey that to me appropriately. Talk about a challenge.
Let's start with a story:
Em was about 5 years old. Her immune system has always been less than stellar, but that's another post. She had had a pretty bad cold for a week or so, maybe 8-10 days. If I asked her how she was feeling, she always said, "I'm ok". Every time.
Then one night, about 2am, I wake to the call of my name "Mom" in the despondent tone of my girl. I jump out of bed and head straight into the darkness to find her collapsing in the hallway. COLLAPSING!!! I took her straight to urgent care to find she had ear infections and raging pneumonia. Never had she uttered a complaint. The doctor was so shocked, I think he thought I was a bit negligent at first.
Let's start with a story:
Em was about 5 years old. Her immune system has always been less than stellar, but that's another post. She had had a pretty bad cold for a week or so, maybe 8-10 days. If I asked her how she was feeling, she always said, "I'm ok". Every time.
Then one night, about 2am, I wake to the call of my name "Mom" in the despondent tone of my girl. I jump out of bed and head straight into the darkness to find her collapsing in the hallway. COLLAPSING!!! I took her straight to urgent care to find she had ear infections and raging pneumonia. Never had she uttered a complaint. The doctor was so shocked, I think he thought I was a bit negligent at first.
What it taught me was that I needed a way for her to connect to her body, and understand when she needed to alert me to a problem. We started by taking advantage of moments when they presented themselves. If she was hurt or sick, I would say...see how it feels when you have a fever? You are cold and tired. You maybe have a headache. This is how it feels to have a fever. Always tell me if you feel this way.
Another one: See how your belly feels all yucky like its turning over and over inside? That's what it feels like when you might throw up. Always tell me if you feel like that.
Every. Single. Thing. has to be taught this way. She has no idea what these feelings are instinctively. We have graduated to using a scale of 1 to 10 for pain levels, hunger levels, everything! She loves being able to quantify things instead of being so ambiguous.
She feels so much more confident about telling me things. I can ask her how bad is your sore throat? She can tell me with a number. We can then compare it as it improves or worsens with that same scale. Her brain just understands these terms so much more clearly than descriptive words.
If you or someone you know has a kiddo like mine, share this with them. This tactic saved us! I am happy to go into more detail on how we use it every day.
Another one: See how your belly feels all yucky like its turning over and over inside? That's what it feels like when you might throw up. Always tell me if you feel like that.
Every. Single. Thing. has to be taught this way. She has no idea what these feelings are instinctively. We have graduated to using a scale of 1 to 10 for pain levels, hunger levels, everything! She loves being able to quantify things instead of being so ambiguous.
She feels so much more confident about telling me things. I can ask her how bad is your sore throat? She can tell me with a number. We can then compare it as it improves or worsens with that same scale. Her brain just understands these terms so much more clearly than descriptive words.
If you or someone you know has a kiddo like mine, share this with them. This tactic saved us! I am happy to go into more detail on how we use it every day.